Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
