just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Randomize
