I wanna passion pit in your ass
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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