I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
