Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
