So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
