I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize