Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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