I wish my penis had an off switch
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
pray to the hookup gods
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
