I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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