I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
