well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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