what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
