remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
