4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
