Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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