So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
