i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
