I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
