WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
