I cannot find my penis.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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