he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
