therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
