Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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