The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
