Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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