I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
