I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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