i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
