I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
