bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
