Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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