So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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