So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
