Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
