All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
