He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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