We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
