she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
