I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
