did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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