so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
