Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
