Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
