my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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