you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
