But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize