is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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