My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize