don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
