im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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