You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
