lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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