i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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