so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
