Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
