Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
