dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
