porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
